Update:
I’m deeply seeped in global history for the first time. Thanks to Netflix, I binged The Last Czars, documentaries about the Roman Empire, and wondering where the documentaries are on the kingdoms in Africa, other a blip of the Anthony & Cleopatra with actors that resemble a Greek American couple.
But what has intrigued me the most is the story of Jesus…politically! Its intriguing to see how the fight of ultimate power is the root of all empirical rise & fall. I understand the political reason behind the crucifixion of Jesus. His message of social equality, the elimination of social hierarchy and not needing to be wealthy or of a certain class to have a direct connection w the divine threatened all of what the Roman Empire stood for. The Roman Empire was so powerful, they had officials and police in Jerusalem to enforce Roman power over them. Jesus’ message and gospel gave a spiritual & social freedom to a ppl who were oppressed by this Empirical law. A law that believed their governing leader was Godlike. Jesus posed a threat to those in religious & political power. He was also seen as blasphemous bc his message was the opposite of what the religious and political order of the time was. He was preaching enlightenment to the people during the most oppressive times.Jesus was planting the seeds of a spiritual revolution in a sense that allowed ppl to see that healing power and connection to the divine was MORE than within arms reach, it was within us #thekingdomofgodiswithin not in Roman power or the Temples. Imagine if that idea latched on to the people, what would BECOME of the Roman Empire? That is one of the reasons they believed Jesus HAD to be crucified/ assassinated. To maintain the power over the ppl so they wouldn’t have these ideas in their head. From this understanding of Jesus politically, His identity, mission, purpose on this Earth makes complete sense to me.
I’ve used Zoom twice, once for a virtual play about a Zoom gathering during the quarantine and something was heading East, causing the players to mysteriously disconnect one by one. Kinda close to home but really exciting to participate in a virtual performance with others. Also celebrated Passover for the first time via Zoom.
I’m using this time to stay off the news as much as I can, yet staying vigilant and informed. I’m also learning to flow creatively. Sharing my gifts of singing, comedy, movement, like the world is going to end. Instead of sharing my ideas like an IV drip, I’m inviting spirit to flow like the current she is. Its like I subconsciously removed this creative block…or maybe I have nothing to blame my block on anymore but me. Plus boredom and stir craziness breeds creativity up the wazoo!
LASTLY: The distractions of all my demons and insecurities are gone. I’m comfortably sitting at the table with all my neuroses & fears. I literally had a lovely early morning breakfast sipping on coffee with my fear of death. I finally had space to allow it to truly unfold and chat with it with my lovely partner who gave me some healing and useful insight. I’ve come to the resolution that all I have control over is how I feel about it, how I am living my internal life, and that when my time comes, I hope to be in a place of peace and comfort for it. I want to view it as beautiful instead of terrifying. As a part of an eternal experience of existence through different levels of being consciousness. I believe that heaven and hell are the places we will “exist” when all the material distractions have dematerialized. I didnt realize how fearful I have been living, fearful or not doing enough, or doing “it right”, not being “enough”—which now sounds absolutely ABSURD. When I ask myself, enough of what? If I can’t make peace with who and what I am, that is a constant state of distress or dis-ease of being! The antidote…the solution…the rest…the healing…can only come from within. Of course this amazing world , full of life and remedies, themes and seasons, prophets, and characters, the VIVIDRY of this world provides all the inspiration, paint and materials to use. How do we know which ones to use? By the heart. The actual physical feeling that emanates from the heart. Still not sure? Think of a time where you felt amazing, “in love”, in awe, grateful, GOOOOOD. That’s the feeling. It is our job to master our constantly churning mind to assist THIS feeling, not destroy it. Unless we secretly enjoy feeling bad. Through meditation, right thinking, right action, right doing. Hmmm, I’m sounding like an Eastern philosopher….now as a disclaimer, I understand there are instances where there are actual chemical imbalances and illnesses in our brain that we can’t meditate or pray away. We are lucky to live in a time that has pills that can interact without our help with the electrical firing in our brains. We are in the information age as well as having spiritual knowledge readily accessible. The point is, we have the power of choice even with our thoughts and actions. We aren’t victims.
I’m not a victim.
Allie's Blog 