Walking into my season!

OMG! So much has happened since my first blog so I have some catching up to do!

Well,  guess where I am?? I am sitting outside my bedroom in the patio, in the sun in South Florida. YES it IS November 2nd and yes I am slightly getting sunburn on my left arm and sweating a little bit but I LOVE IT!!! I am out here doing Bubbling Brown Sugar at Broward’s Stage Door Theatre and it is AMAZING. Every singe day, I am so grateful for being where I am doing what I am doing and the moment I start getting comfortable or complacent or bored, I think about those desolate times in NYC in my apartment crying and paralyzed with fear and uncertainty about my future and next move. I think about those days I’d spend indoors on craigslist and random job sites looking for jobs. I think about those  days and I am suddenly drowned with gratitude.

The Lord/Universe/Eternal Light/Jesus is blessing me and aligning me to my path. Not long after I graduated, I heard back from Bubbling Brown Sugar, the Color Purple tour and Dreamgirls in Cohoes. I literally passed out unconscious in my room and nearly drowned in my tears of, what else, GRATITUDE.  I WAS SET. correction I AM SET for about a year starting in Feb. THREE SHOWS in a row including a TOUR!! And what makes it so much more amazing, that is exactly what I prayed for, asked for , meditated on and expected. I wanted to be in BLACK SHOWS, learn about myself as a woman and performer, inspire and bless ppl thru my musical medium and travel and LO and BEHOLD, every single request has come to pass. Never again will a pray and ask and wait for something and not expect it. How dare I doubt the possibility of greatness.

Dreamgirls was AN EXPERIENCE. It was a beautiful MESS and I met some wonderful people. The production was one of the most challenging in my life and I remember panicking about nearly everything offstage right before I came on, will my dress be zipped, will I dance out of these shoes, is my wig on backwards, is my mic out, will my voice come out, will I have enough time to quick change into my other wig, dress, shoes, and gloves. But no matter what happened, as soon as I stepped on that stage Lorell was ON and IN the scene. I had such amazing chemistry with my Jimmy (Don). I didn’t have to ACT like I loved him and nothing felt FORCED. He truly spoiled me because everything we did together and everything I did with him was so organic and natural. Plus, I was always blown away by his talents! That was such an enriching experience. The town and everything else was so shady so the cast really bonded through our common struggle! But I feel like those are ppl that I will always have in my life that I can always come back to.

Bubbling Brown Sugar now, is amazing and I have never felt so grateful in every moment of my life. Like right now as I type, I’m at the kitchen table with my roommates who I have so much respect for and we are all eating and talking about life. Each of us come from separate backgrounds but we all have performing as a passion in common and we were each strategically placed here. With a specific purpose. And I discovered mine at this last performance!

Our audiences are typically white haired audiences because Florida is like the land of the old. But in one particular performance, I broke down the 4th wall and looked out at the audience and saw the faces of the ppl that were enjoying the performance and nearly BROKE DOWN in TEARS onstage. Each of their faces were LIT UP with LIGHT AND JOY that I had never seen before! It was like their youth was restored and a special vigor was penetrating their body!  They laughed and sang and danced and shook their booties and threw their head back and clapped off beat!! In the opening and closing song there is a line: “Bubbling Brown Sugar, JOY is what its all about” and it resounded so loudly in my mind. THIS IS WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT. This is why I do what I do and why I will continue to perform for as long as I can on this Earth. IT BRINGS JOY. And I saw that joy manifested in each of the peoples’ faces like an illuminating light and infectious dance. THIS very reason is why I perform on stage. TO spread the JOY of the Lord. To provide an escape to an imaginary land of adventure, fantasy, or in this case, memory/past . And everytime I look out, I see the audience members singing along to the old 20′s and 30′s songs, tapping their knees and shaking their shoulders. I saw this one woman who had to have been about 90 year old with this frozen smile of GLEE and reminiscence, and for “God Bless the Child”, she closed her eyes and tilted her head back with a flight smile of remembrance, and at the end of the finale, her little shoulders were shaking and eyes were lit up with the magical JOY. At the curtain call, her daughter helped her little feeble body stand and she gave us a standing ovation along with about more than 2/3 of the audience. I’m sure that other 1/3 would have stood up if their knees were willing because the shouts were overwhelming! MY GOD!! What a RUSH it is doing this show!

During the BIG SAVOY dance break, I looked over onstage and saw my cast all dancing with their sparkling costumes and dazzling smiles and talents oozing all over the place and almost began to levitate with the energy and joy and POWER that was onstage. This show is such a HIGH. And I’m so priviledged to be a part of this cast.

NOT TO MENTION my very first reviews, which were outstanding!! I WAS SO SHOCKED because literally the performance before those reviews came out, I ran off stage at the end feeling the most depressed about my performance. I felt it was an awful performance and I was so disappointed in myself and ashamed that I wasn’t able to give more and LO and BEHOLD, I received this review:

“The incandescence named Allison Semmes is currently electrifying Broward Stage Door Theatre’s resurrection of the Harlem Renaissance jukebox musical Bubbling Brown Sugar.

Semmes is actually a supporting actress here. Even in a cast of 16, however, she stands out with a polished Broadway voice, toothpaste ad grin, flashing eyes and amped-up flair evident in her angular body language and vivacious delivery. Near the end of the show, she delivers a Duke Ellington torch song so affectingly that it actually raises goose pimples”-Sun Sentinal www.stagedoortheatre.com/brown 

 

Whatever was plaguing me must have been delusional or trying to break me down before I read that review. Even though we aren’t supposed t read our reviews, this one will be the ammunition I need to fight those doubting depressing feelings I have and questions toward whether or not I need to keep going. It was speak directly to those demons that try to tell me I’m not good enough or that my performances are weak. Even though it is ONE person’s opinion, it is that tangible reminder that some people out there recognize and are moved by my humble efforts. Because sometimes, I forget. I forget that I am doing what I LOVE and that I shouldn’t be so hard and tedious and JUDGMENTAL about my offering. I forget that my smile and pouring out of my joy and laughing and dancing on stage and actions are noticed and are enough. That I don’t have to overdo myself or fight to be seen…..wow….REVELATION.

So I move forward and stronger woman. A more confident performer. And though there may be reviews that are nice, there may be ppl that walk away from the show not as moved, there may be ppl that didn’t receive as much joy as other, if ANY. But what matters to me is that I offered it in sincerity, effort, and truth and I can only pray that SOMEONE left with that light and dance that I witnessed in so many of the audience members in Coral Springs.

I’m ready to go forth and share this light to as many people that will receive it. Lord lead me into my season! I’m READY!

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